Assets and Liabilities

My teacher likes to say, “Your assets are your liabilities.” I use that line a lot. In fact, my teacher trainings center around that principle - everything has an advantage and a disadvantage. Recently, I was in a situation where for the first time I found myself truly deferring to others and listening to their expertise. I began thinking to myself - why haven’t I been able to do this before?

My strength has always been in doing things. I am fast study. I remember things instantly. What I don’t know, I can quickly figure out on my own. This is my strength. I know more than enough in many fields, and I want to do the job. I want to be the caregiver. I want to take the credit (or be at fault). Simply, when it comes down to it, I am going to do the job, whether that is renovating my house (carpentry, plumbing, electricity, and so forth), designing a website, logo, or other graphics, to teaching, bookkeeping, cooking, laundry (okay I don’t do yard work), I won’t ask for assistance. Owning a number of different businesses over the years, I have always relied on my skills to get the job done. Whether that was due to not enough money to hire someone to do it, or because I didn’t think the job would get done as good unless I did it. Regardless, I ended up burning the wick from both ends, for good or bad. Sometimes it worked, but in my last business it did not. The fact was I needed people, but didn’t know how to defer. My asset became my liability and it hindered me. I couldn’t receive what others had to offer.

As I consider these implications on my life I am reminded of how yoga was and continues to be transmitted. While my heart and teaching falls into a certain lineage, my actions seemed to be mirroring another. Maybe I want to be the guru, but in some regard who doesn’t? Isn’t it tantalizing to have all that respect from so many people all looking to you? Certainly, I can see how easy it would be to get caught up in wanting and having all that power. In the modern yoga era, these guru lineages, where one person is in control and people submit to his or her power is the more common image of yoga. Maybe it is for all the ways it is not our culture - to have the foreign looking, all-knowing sage, whose sole job is to bestow grace in our lives. Who wouldn’t want that, especially in our difficult, over-worked, busy lives?

But the more unknown transmission of yoga was the one that I really found myself getting this week. These other guru traditions are called Kula-Yoga. These traditions don’t look to one seat or person to hold all the authority, but rather authority shifts depending on what’s needed. Everyone is the guru, and everyone has a legitimate say when it is his or her expertise. As I sat around the conference table, I was inspired by the contributions of everyone there. Each person was guru when they spoke. Being able to defer tasks and roles all of a sudden made my whole body and mind lighter. I had created more space to be myself, rather than creating another burden that I have to do. Respecting others only makes people respect me more. Not thinking I had to do or know everything was a relief.

When it comes down to it yoga wants us to learn to truly defer and let other’s greatness be our experiences. To be great means you have to learn to keep the company of greatness. That means you have to be willing to allow other’s a chance to share it.