Call It What You Want
Everyone keeps asking me, “What is your yoga called?” Honestly, I didn’t leave Anusara to create my own style. It’s not my desire, but sometimes things can’t be avoided, no matter what you truly want. At a party in Tucson, a friend said to me, “Call it what you want,” in reference to Miles Davis’ famous 1970 set at the Isle of Wight concert (which, ironically, happened to be on my birthday, August 29th). At this concert, Davis and his band played a set of totally new sounds,¬ an electric jazz/rock fusion. About 25 minutes into the set, Davis leaned over to the mic and said, “Call it anything.” (watch the video on youtube) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfHDQ1GffRQ&eurl=http://surrealdocuments.blogspot.com/2007/08/miles-davis-isle-of-wight-1970.html
I have always been someone who seeks out identity. To what lineage do I belong? As I began my search, I hoped to be connected to the oldest lineages – antiquity definitely seemed more authentic. Maybe that was originally due to my deep interest in Chinese thought, but as my discipline manifested into yoga and Indian arts, I sought the “old stuff,”¬ the things that would say I was directly connected to something thousands of years old. Of course, being the young enthusiast I was, it never dawned on me that, even if the connections were to a lineage from a place far away and a time long ago, the practices we were doing looked nothing like what they did back then. I always had that romantic notion in my mind of finding the Ancient One and being part of the tradition, like a Kwai Chang Caine character from the television show Kung Fu.
I moved away from the old lineages. I saw my practices for what they were: new, or maybe more accurately, evolved, innovative, and refined. It didn’t bother me, but when you see something for what it is, you can make better decisions regarding what it actually does for you. When I found Anusara, it was new, it was exciting, and ironically, I found my romantic version of the Old Ancient in a not-so-ancient American from the Midwest and Texas. I learned more from John than from any hatha yoga teacher I ever met, and I learned more than just hatha yoga. But as time went on and Anusara grew, I had trouble maintaining my identity with it. Maybe I was growing so much (and had grown so much), that I could now form my own notions of how I identify life. What is life if you don’t make connections, but does what you name yourself limit you?
I think you have to make an identity out of yourself, but are you solely marked by the one identity you make? We want to be remembered for our great contribution in life; that is, after all, our immortality. Unfortunately, people come to expect that one gift of you and end up fixing you (limiting you) as a person to just that one dimension. There is no space for exceptions. The problem is that there are always exceptions. Why can’t we have multiple dimensions without that being a problem, even if some seem to counter each other? I want people to make identities ¬to name their experiences, develop their ideas, and make their lives expressions of what they are thinking, feeling, acting, and so on. I want them to learn to call it what they want, not what someone else wants them to call it. But, most importantly, “it” is not fixed. ¬ “It” is not one thing, but anything. So, call your yoga what you want, because everyday your wants are changing. Everyday, your experiences are not the same and what you call them will be different. I want to teach you my experiences, but I want you to call them yours,¬ with a variety of differing names.
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A favorite of mine from Miles, "I'll play it first and tell you what it is later."
And on Assets and Liablities: (Although I know that was the previous post, but I do not want to post two separate times and I am counting on our long-standing friendship that you will indulge me this entry after a different post...) On the Anusara Yoga certification exam that I took, one of the last questions had something to do with "What is your vision for Anusara Yoga?" I remember answering that I saw Anusara Yoga's strengths as its liablities. We are young (we were younger then), we are innovative, we are not (were not at that time, at least) bogged down by policies, politics, hierarchies, etc. And yet, those same things have always posed challenges for me within our system. We have very little true seniority. (Think about, 30 year olds are not "Senior Teachers" compared to teachers who have been teaching for 30 years! And I know the whole "old soul" argument but still to me there is something about time spent in this lifetime that is valuable.) We haven't had time to make and learn from our mistakes. We don't have a method that has perservered over 50 years with a body of practitioners representing it and its efficacy. Like that. You cannot really be young and old. Time takes time. You can exuberance of youth perhaps which is a great and wonderful thing, but not the wisdom of old age.
And of course, since there is a shadow side to everything here in the relative world, why would our assets not be our liablitites, etc.
So an interesting thing happened when I got the chance to go to India this summer and tag along with my Iyengar-Yoga-practicing- sister at the Iyengar Institute for a month (where I pretended to be an Iyengar Yogi -no smiling, no laughing, the bloomers with a tucked in T-shirt and so on) It struck me that many of the complaints that BKS, Geeta and Prashant were expressing about what was happening in their method and how it was being taught and represented had actually been addressed by John in Anusara Yoga.They constantly complained about how no one thought for themselves, how the teachers only did things the way they were showed not the way that was best and that no one was teaching from their own experience but only from a script. They couldn't shut up about how no one brought an optimal bhava to their practice and how no one knew philosophy, etc. So in some ways, John was the best Iyengar Yoga student of everyone, teaching from his experience, bringing innovation, empahsiszin bhava and philosophy, etc. but those things could never, ever have happened from within "the system".
So when I read some of your comments about the distinctions you are making in your "yet-to be named-teaching-style-and-methods" (and for the record I have no need for a name as I trust your ability to transmit your experience over and above a name for said information) I kept thinking how weird that any of that became at odds with Ansuara Yoga. Yet, I am realist and I know perfectly well how and why such a thing could come to be, although it saddens me.
So who knows- some changes can only happen from within a system. Others can only happen from without. And who knows which side of the "line" anyone might find themselves on at any point and for what reasons. Some truly talented people have left the "fold". Truly talented people are being attracted every day. It is kind of an exciting thing just being involved in any way.
One of the things that Carlos Pomeda has really impressed upon me lately has been that we are part of a living tradition as yoga practioners and yoga teachers. The book is not finished. This ancient, beautiful sometimes archaic and oftentimes challenging thing called yoga is entrusted to people like you and me. This idea is way bigger to me than a name that is trademarked, featured in Yoga Journal and so on. I think it is for most of us who sincerely practice. At least I pray that it is bigger for most of us because if it is not, we are in big trouble.
Anyway- I am now trying to sum these musings up which is probably impossible as this yoga is a thing in process. Really, mostly what I want to say is that in reading your newsletter and blog it seems to me that you have unleashed a huge burst of creativity and juice in the decision and I am happy for you. I am honored to be your firend, I will always consider myself your student and I will look forwrad to watching your offerings unfold. Love, love, love.
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