Day 4 - Exceptions

My wife reminded me yesterday that it’s been an exceptional year. I had surgery in March on a rare condition in my leg called popliteal entrapment syndrome, then wound up back in the hospital four weeks later due to pulmonary embolisms. I’ve been fairly immobile this year, and yes, it has been an exceptional year. But that makes me think that it would be too easy to blame everything in life on the exceptions because truth be told, most of life seems like an exception. It’s like learning Spanish and you learn all the verb paradigms and then there are the irregular verbs that you just have to memorize for they don’t connect with the normal paradigms. What seems to happen is that all the irregular verbs are the ones you use the most. Just like your life seems to be a majority of exceptions to your plans or dreams. So I can’t just make my circumstances an excuse. Yes they’re true - so move on, don’t dwell.

I am not the exercise, workout type. My sister is and my wife was. The kind of person who runs, bikes or swims just to get the workout. The gym rat who has to exercise everyday or doesn’t feel good. That is not me. I guess being a hatha yogi and teacher forced me to be a part of the “fitness” world, learn my body and be in my body, but I am no junkie when it comes to working out. In fact I can’t stand gyms or the thought of going on a run or bike ride to get a work out. If I go on a bike ride it’s to get somewhere or have fun, but not to exercise. I guess it’s the same for my mat. I want to get on it to “workout,” but it just never works out that way for me. I get on it because it gets me some where.

I got on my mat today with more excitement and less obligation. Maybe I got on it knowing I wasn’t going to put a DVD in today and that freedom freed me up to breathe more deeply about the whys I’m on it, but at the same time I wasn’t as focused (in the workout sense) and didn’t have the same continuity in my practice like I did the last 3 days. But it was a sweet practice with my 10 month old son who laughed every time I did jumping dogs (jumping from downdog to handstand and back to downdog). I did lunges and standing poses with Beck at the front of my mat. I got off my mat to corral him back to his mat (or my mat). I tried to put him down and nap, set a timer for 10 minutes to move without interruption, only to find 2 minutes later that I couldn’t really practice with him screaming. I’d rather be with him and practice then think I had to “workout.” So it was looser and gentler, but I was on the mat. No regrets. I feel good. And if yoga isn’t about learning to prioritize and make better choices then what is it? I’ve been making my mat a priority, but that hasn’t come at the cost of my family, and never will.